Worth The Risk

When you are single, it feels like that is how it will always be. Not that being single is a bad thing. Jesus and the disciples (Mathew 19) and Paul (I Corinthians 7) all think it's a good way to go. Part of me completely agrees. There are a lot of advantages to being single. For one, it is low-pressure. Being in a relationship is tough, and you have to spend a lot of time trying to get things right. Being single is cheaper. It also gives you more freedom to go wherever and do cool things that may not be possible if you have a family to think about.

Unfortunately, like the majority of us guys, I spend around 92.7% (or whatever the number is) of my conscious thought on the opposite sex. Not that this is that terrible of a thing, but the fraction of my life that this consumes is way higher than it should be.

I want to get married someday. It's a want, not a need, so I think I'll be okay if that never happens. But I hope it does happen. To be chosen, to be in that kind of exclusive relationship, to be loved, to serve God together, to get to have sex without feeling bad about it...so many things that would make it worth it.

At the same time, it's scary as hell. To have to open up and completely vulnerable with someone is a bit terrifying. It's a crazy risk to take. It's also a beautiful risk very well worth taking.

"And what did he do to deserve

This whore of a wife who parades her disgrace to his face now
When he loved her and gave up his life in more ways than she knows how"

And I can't help but wonder what God was thinking when he took a risk on us. He had to have known how much we would cheat on Him....with idols and money and selfishness and hate and greed and the list goes on. If I do get married someday, being cheated on will probably always be a fear of mine no matter how awesome my wife is. I can't imagine what that would feel like. It makes me think that it would be better to just stay single.

"Love is a beautiful thing

She can make your heart sing

When you're walking on broken glass
She will open your eyes

Make your heart feel alive
Point you toward the sunrise
Help you leave all this broken mess behind."
-from "Broken Mess" by The Classic Crime (both quotes)
 
But that's not how God felt. God knew it would be worth it, even through the pain He would feel from all of us cheating on Him. God loves us that much...that even when we are not faithful, He still is.

That fear of rejection we all have? God's been through it and knows how it feels.

Maybe We Need To Leave

"Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons."
— Donald Miller (Through Painted Deserts)
 
 
Coming back home to Festus is a strange experience for me. Since I'm in Festus an average of 4 or 5 times a year, there are both gradual and abrupt changes. It seems like every time I come back, things are different, but there is still a progression of change. And many of the changes have been pretty tough at times.
 
I'm not a good prayer. From what I've read in the Bible about prayer, it seems to be all about persistence. We are to pray without ceasing, and Jesus even tells a parable in Luke 11:5-8 about how someone will give you what you ask because of your boldness, and not just because the person is your friend (Read it if you haven't. I think about prayer a lot differently because of this parable). Most of the time, I'm pretty inconsistent with prayer time, and I'm also usually not all that bold.
 
But some of the times I have been most bold and consistent is when praying for friends who used to be living for God, but have since drifted away. It's so weird to have people who I once looked up to spiritually that now want nothing to do with God.
 
It makes my faith feel fake. It exposes my own weakness, as it is so difficult to bring up the topic of God anymore to them. It has taken a town that was once a place of spiritual inspiration and turned it into a desert. I know God is faithful, but it can be hard to believe here.
 
I'm glad I get to come home and be around family. I'm glad I get to hang out with friends that are still here in town. I'm glad I get to go back to Faith Baptist Church and see people there who have taught me a lot about God. Those things make it worth coming back. But I'm also glad that I'm only here for short periods of time....because I would suffocate if I had to stay here too long.
 
I think that's one reason many people drift away from God. Life becomes stale and boring, and we lose a focus. Sometimes, we have to seek adventure to save ourselves from boredom, which is probably one of the devil's most potent weapons. We start to feel like our life is just as good without God. We question what the point of it all is and go back to our old life.

In the song "This Week The Trend" by Relient K, these words are found:

 

"And I just want to get mugged at knifepoint. To get cut enough to wake me up. Cause I know that I don't want to die sitting around watching my life go by."

 

One of my weaknesses is that I can get bored easily. Perhaps that is a weakness of yours also. Fortunately, God is strong in our weakness, and can used our boredom to cause us to leave our comfort zones and chase after God. Let's not be afraid to get mugged or cut up a bit. Death by lukewarm boredom is a far more cowardly death than anything another human can do to us.

There's nothing wrong with staying in your hometown....but many of us were never meant to stay.

You Are Better Than Me

I probably like you. I like most people. And if you are reading this, I probably know you in some capacity, and I can't think of many people I don't like offhand. To go a bit further, I approve of you as a person. You have my respect, whether or not I agree with things you do or believe.

I say this because a lot of us struggle with this kind of thing. If someone doesn't approve of me, thinks I'm stupid or unimportant, or doesn't like me, it can drive me crazy. And for some reason, a lot of people don't like each other. It's terrible.


Here's a true story that happened recently:
I randomly met this guy, and we had a conversation. A really cool conversation about God. I was really encouraged by the stuff we talked about, and learned a few things from his story.
Later that day, I was with some friends who happened to know the guy. I started to talk about the conversation I had had, but was immediately stopped by the sudden realization that these people had such a low opinion of him. I was really surprised because I didn't know I was supposed to dislike the guy.
And the crazy thing is that it's all Christians in the story. The guy, my friends, and me. We're all pulling for the same thing. Why do we not like each other? Although this was a specific instance, this kind of thing happens a lot. Now, I wonder who doesn't like me. Scary.


In Phillipians 2:3-4, Paul says:
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (emphasis mine)

Consider others better than me? That is not an easy task, but it is so important to do. It also goes against a lot of what we're taught. Very counter-inuitive....like almost everything Jesus ever said.

The first shall be last. To live, you must first die. By losing everything, you are really gaining everything. The foolish will shame the wise. God's power is made stronger in our weakness.

So, if I am smarter than you, you are still more important than I am. If I am better-looking, you are still more important than I am. If I am stronger, have more money, have a more-attractive girlfriend, or am a better musician, you are still better than me.

You are better than me, and I like you.

I think that's what Jesus said when he came to earth to die to save us. He was telling us that we are more important...or at least more important than his life. Even if I am God, you are still more important than me. That is our example to follow.

Let's like each other. Let's consider others better than ourselves. Let's become humble servants. If nothing else, it makes life way more interesting (if everyone is better than us, we can never be in boring company).

Origins

My favorite movie is Dead Poets Society, and it will always hold that dear place in my heart. No other movie, no matter how much I enjoy it, will ever speak to me like DPS does.

The central theme of DPS, in my opinion (and I've seen it many times), is the importance of chasing after your dreams, even if there is great risk of failure. Todd Anderson opens up in front of everyone despite his intense fear. Neil pursues acting against his father's will. Charlie "Nuwanda" Dalton accepts a phone call from God during a meeting, saying that girls should be admitted to his school. Knox Overstreet goes into the classroom of the girl he loves and reads her a poem even though she wants nothing to do with him....and he gets the girl in the end. Though lots of costly mistakes are made, these boys learn to live life to the fullest and not be complacent.

And that is how I want to live my life.

In the movie, they talk about the Latin phrase, "Carpe Diem." This means "Seize the Day." Or, in Spanish, "Aprovecha el Día."

I think that I have succeeded in doing this in many ways, but I am definitely not good at it, and it is most certainly not easy to do. Fortunately, my fear of regret is a powerful motivator. Regret is a terrible thing to carry around.


I'm starting this blog for a couple of reasons. One reason is to keep people updated about my adventures this summer in Medellín, Colombia. I'm super-pumped about this trip. Eight weeks in South America, working with the Open Arms Foundation. I know that this will probably be one of the most intense and life-changing things I've ever done, and that God is going to be more real to me there than anywhere else I've been.

At the same time, I dread the trip. It's the same dread that came before I climbed Eagle Cliff. The same dread that comes right before every important basketball game I've played in. The same dread that came last summer everytime I went downtown in Denver to hang out with my homeless friends. The same dread that comes everytime I have to do something that is going to rip me from my comfort zone. But I know that if I don't do it, I will never be happy with myself.

The other reason for starting this is just because I wanted to. From time to time, I have stuff I want to share, and I hope that you might come back and read more of the words I type in the future.