I never know how to answer this question. 'Yes' and 'no' are both appropriate answers. Yes, I've raised money for the trip, gotten immunizations, bought a plane ticket, and have the logistics in place. No, I don't think I'm emotionally or spiritually ready, I haven't prepared enough through working on my Spanish and spending time with God.
"Are you excited for your trip?"
Double answer here again. If I were not going, I would be wishing that I was going. So, 'Yes,' but only in the sense that the alternative would be boring. But a resounding 'No' has been the theme of the past week. I can't believe I'll be in South America in less than a week. I've felt almost depressed at a few moments this week....because I know this whole thing is going to tough. It's going to be so unlike anything I've ever done, with so many added difficulties that I've yet to experience.
But the thing I fear most is the fear of just being in the way. I fear that I won't really have any contribution to the Open Arms Foundation (the organization I'm working with) or much positive influence on the kids. There are two mains reasons for this: language barrier and my disability. Talking to the kids will be difficult, and I won't be able to help out much with physical tasks around the farm. I'll get to teach English and computer stuff, but that will only comprise a portion of my time there. I really don't know what to expect.
My weaknesses seem especially apparent right now, like they were waiting for a perfect time to jump out from behind the corner to mess with me. Fortunately, Jesus says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness."
Now, I just have to believe that.
1. I was just thinking, "Man, Justin hasn't blogged in a while. I wish he would."
ReplyDelete2. That picture makes me miss your face.
3. It makes me sad that you're the only equipper not here with us :(
4. It is preposterous that you won't make an amazing contribution to Open Arms this summer. The kids are going to love you, and your Spanish is going to improve exponentially when you're immersed in it. You're going to be awesome.
5. I will definitely be praying for you the whole time!
6. Have a safe trip!!!
7. I still miss you haha
I love 1 Corinthians. It's essentially a letter written to a stubborn church who thought highly of themselves. So when Paul writes about the problems in the church, on of the first things he does is write about their wisdom.
ReplyDeleteIn 1:18-2:4, Paul tells us that God uses the foolishness of the world to bring about life for those who are wise and uses the wisdom of the world to bring about life to the foolish. The point being that what we do doesn't have any influence on the Gospel or its power, but that the life we have is %100 from God.
It's refreshing to know that even on my best day of thinking what I can do, God's plans still bests mine. Even when I feel lowly, I can trust in God and remember "He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. it is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption" (1 Cor 1:28-30)